Azriel's Tale
by JSparkes
Summary: Set after A Court of Wings and Ruin. However, instead of being told in Feyre's perspective, it is told in Azriel's narrative. Things soon start to unravel for the Shadowsinger...
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1:

Azriel was once again encased in shadows, sitting on the window ledge, perfectly content to listen to his friends chatter and bicker with one another. The shadows were familiar to him, they always have been from an early age. Since he was locked in the darkness.

"Az?" A voice called to him. Azriel's focus returned to the room. His thoughts paused, and he turned his head towards Cassian.

"Yes? Sorry, I was distracted." He apologised. Cassian grinned at his brother adoringly and repeated his original statement.

"I said dinner is ready. We are all going to the dining room."

"I'll be right up." Azriel responded, with a small smile. Wide enough to hopefully reassure his brother that he was okay, but not so wide that Az felt he was lying to him. Azriel, once noticing that the army commander had gone into the other room, turned slowly back to the window. Exhaling his frustration, he stood up and followed the sound of his family in the dining room.

"Cassian this is incredible!" Morrigan said, once again complimenting Cassian on his cooking. Over the centuries I'd known him, he had grown to be an excellent cook, and he delighted in it. Not that the army commander would ever admit that. He'd spent a long time as a child and adolescent as viewing food as a necessity, not something to be enjoyed. Over time this has changed, but a part of that outlook on food and hunger will always be with him. No matter how many times he is praised.

"I helped him, you know." Rhysand drawled from his seat beside his High Lady and his Second in command.

"Helped? You passed me over the spices, whilst _I_ did the work." Cassian retorted. "You were too busy looking at Feyre." The High Lord of the Night Court, the most powerful High Lord in all of Prythian's history honestly blushed and looked sheepish at the remark, which, by his reaction, was indeed true. No doubt his mate would use this knowledge to her advantage later in the evening, and perhaps for a good while to come. Once Feyre had finished teasing Rhys for the moment, she turned her attention to Az.

"Are you okay? You've been kind of quiet." She asked, concern written on her face for the shadowsinger. Azriel opened his mouth to respond, eager to not cause his High Lady any distress, but Mor beat him to it.

"Az is always quiet. Right?" She chuckled, looking at everyone, then her gaze finally resting on the shadowsinger's face. The inner circle quietly chuckled to themselves, sharing the joke. Azriel joined, if only to not arouse suspicion that he wasn't feeling like his usual self. Az broke his stare at Mor and turned to Feyre.

"I appreciate your concern, but I am okay. I just didn't sleep too well." This was the second time in the last hour that someone had asked if he was alright, he had to give some explanation, just to stop further questioning. Perhaps the shadowsinger needed to brush up on his skills. The rest of the inner circle and the Lady and Lord of night accepted his excuse, and dinner came to a natural close, as it always did with them.

"I'm going to Rita's, wanna come?" Mor asked, addressing the rest of the group, as she stood from the solid oak table that had been in their possession for centuries. Rhysand and Feyre, still seated, looked at one another, a silent conversation being held between them and came to an agreement.

"Sure." Rhys responded. "Cass?"

"Absolutely. Az? Am?"

"I have told you on multiple occasions _not_ to call me that Cassian." The second to the Night Court responded before Cassian had even finished his breath ending his sentence. The silver smoke behind her eyes may have ceased glowing, but that didn't mean Amren had lost her fire.

Azriel, eager to ease the tension, responded to Cassian.

"No. I'm not in the mood tonight." Almost instantly Mor chimed in with-

"Come on Az."

"No." Azriel gave Morrigan a strong enough look to make sure she understood that he was in no mood, but that he was not annoyed at her. Everyone looked around at each other and said their goodbyes. Rhysand and Feyre winnowing away together, once again, in silent company with one another, whilst Mor winnowed with Cassian.

Azriel and Amren were the only ones left at the table. Neither looked at each other. There had always been some…tension between the two of them. The two trusted one another, but not 100%. Yes, before the recent war with Hybern Amren had told some of her secrets and had sacrificed a lot for the Night Court and Prythian itself. More than anyone could entirely understand. But, the Shadowsinger had always felt as though the important things had still not been told. It was all a battle of wills.

"Are you not going then?" Az asked.

"No. It bores me. I can't see the point." Her statement was indeed what she felt as the shadowsinger could almost feel the boredom pouring out of her.

"What will you be doing with your evening then? Prince Varian-"

"Is none of your business. I know the rest of you like to talk tales of your relationships, but mine is none of your concern." She responded, venom on her tongue.

"Fair point." The shadowsinger stood, and started collecting the plates from the table to put into the sink. His Lord and Lady had stated not to bother, and that they would deal with the dishes in the morning, but there was no harm. Perhaps the menial task would take his mind off what was bothering him.

He turned to collect the final few glasses which remained, Amren stared very obviously at the Shadowsinger, looked as though she was contemplating something for a good while. Then simply moved the final glass on a phantom wind into the sink, and walked out the door.

 **Please let me know what you all think. I love this series and want to do it justice, so I would appreciate some criticism, as I feel as though I need to work more on my writing. Thanks very much! -Jessica**


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

"Az. You didn't need to do that last night." Feyre said, just as she winnowed in front of the spymaster. Azriel's face was a mask of confusion. What did I do? The High Lady of the Night Court saw his confusion and amended her sentence to make herself clearer.

"The dishes. From dinner last night." She clarified. The spymaster was instantly dismissing her.

"Oh please. It was the least I could do. Besides, it helped keep me busy."

"I hope you're not too busy now, brother," Rhysand called. Unknowingly, he had winnowed in behind the shadowsinger. "We have a meeting with Helion at the Day Court Palace in 2 hours." He said, obviously reminding the shadowsinger. As if Azriel would forget such a thing. It wasn't a particularly significant meeting, but it was necessary. Per the terms of the new Treaty started by Feyre Cursebreaker, there were to be frequent meetings with one another to keep communication flowing between all courts and relationships as healthy as they could be. As much as Azriel admired that about Feyre, he had a feeling there would always be a divide with both; the Autumn Court and the Spring Court. The shadowsinger was well aware that he was not the only one with these feelings.

"Talking of that, where is Amren?" Feyre asked.

"I'm not aware of that right now. I can ask Nuala or Cerridwen, see if they know." He suggested. Azriel had already acquired the knowledge that Rhysand had told Feyre about Azriel's...observations of Amren, and Azriel also knew that both the Lady and Lord of Night, were not extremely pleased that this was still continuing, but that was not going to stop the Spymaster. After all, it was Azriel who was expected to know about everyone at all times, he was the one to make sure that there would be no surprises.

"Don't bother."

Quickly, all three of them turned their bodies towards the voice. Weapons in casual reach for the Illyrians to fight and defend if necessary.

"Your little pets have already scurried away." Amren. Everyone instantly relaxed at the familiar voice. Once again, Azriel was aware that Amren knew of his observations of her, but they never really seemed to bother her. However, it was evident to everyone present that the Second in Command was becoming increasingly more bothered by this. And rightly so.

The once relaxed atmosphere soon turned tense. Azriel knew better than to provoke her, so, smartly, he kept his mouth shut. For now.

"I wanted to talk to you about the meeting." Feyre stated, hoping to ease the tension.

"Meeting?" Amren asked, the inclination of her voice rising. "What meeting?"

"At the Day Court." Rhysand reminded her. "With Helion." Amren was already rolling her eyes.

"Why is it necessary that I have to go to these hideous things. All it is is people talking about how great there courts are, how great there people are, how everything is just perfect. Cocky pricks."

Rhysand cut in with a warning tone. "Amren." Azriel had only seen this tone be used with Amren few times, and it had not been taken lightly. She acknowledged the tone, and slightly corrected herself.

"It's not just the Day Court. It's all of them."

"Well, just try not to say that to their faces." Chimed Feyre. It was becoming a more evident feature that Feyre would use humour to lighten up a disheartening atmosphere. Azriel supposed she had picked it up from Rhysand. As well as things he had learned from her.

 **Thanks for reading! Please, if you have time, give me feedback. I adore this series a lot, and I would love to continue working on my writing, and to hopefully give these characters justice. Please let me know! -Jessica.**


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3:

"So shall we get started with this meeting?" Helion called as he entered through the overly large golden doors. The Day Court palace was immaculate. In fact, so was the entire city. Obviously, nothing in comparison to Velaris, but Azriel vowed to himself that one day, he would look around the Day Court personally to see if this court had any more hidden, yet spectacular views.

"Absolutely." Rhysand agreed. Already sat at the table alongside; Feyre, Mor, Cassian and Azriel himself.

"No one else joining you?" The Lord of Day asked. "What about your Second?"

"Amren has other tasks to be busy with this evening. I hope you don't think of us as lazy, but there are still things that we need to maintain back in our court." Rhysand replied. He wanted to maintain good relations with all courts, so he wanted to present to Prythian that both his court and himself were genuine about the Treaty agreement. But Amren had been very adamant about not coming to this meeting. Rhys had pushed her but to a point. He didn't want there to be a rift between them, so, for the time being, he had to make an excuse. Rhysand knew full well that there were no 'tasks' that needed to be done so rapidly.

"Of course not. Another time for her then, perhaps." Helion responded in his good nature.

"Besides," He added, "You three" gesturing to Azriel, Mor and Cassian "are the only three I am truly interested in." A smirk spreading across his face. Everyone, including Azriel, laughed at his joke. Although the people in this room were all but too aware of Helion's...ambitions for the four of them. Of course, everyone also knew that Mor and Helion had already spent the night together, during the recent war with Hybern. To make sure Azriel knew that nothing would ever happen with Mor. _As if I already didn't know._

Helion sat on the roundtable, joining the members of the Night Court.

"So, my thoughts on the ruins of Barcombe..."

Hours after the meeting with Helion, which, thankfully and predictably, went smoothly, the Lord and Lady of Night, along with their Inner Circle were seated in the house of wind. The fire slowly crackling in the background, the fact that this needed to be set alight indicating that the seasons were indeed turning cooler. Weather that Azriel, and his Illyrian brothers were too used to, due to their harsh, but effective, training as adolescents.

"You're out of wine," Mor said as she slumped down in her usual seat with a small glass of alcohol. Rhysand had noted that his cousin was drinking at a fairly fast rate this evening, presumably just to wind down for the evening. Despite this realisation, he sighed and acknowledged her statement.

"I'm sure lovely Aslora's shop will still be open. I'll be back in a moment." He kissed his mate on her forehead lovingly and vanished, leaving only his salt and citrus scent. Feyre obviously wanted more of a response from her mate and quickly winnowed after him

Rhysand was not the only person this evening to pick up on Mor's excessive drinking tonight, Azriel had, but of course noticing things were of second nature for him. However, it was evident that Cassian, Feyre and Amren had also noted it. The two latter females, being wise, decided not to comment. The army commander, however, was lacking in entertainment and sensed an opportunity to alleviate his boredom with some teasing.

"I think you've already drunk enough tonight, Mor. You've had more than usual, and I don't want to have to drag your lazy ass home." Luckily, Mor had taken his comment in a lighthearted manner and not to heart, as she always did. That is what their relationship was based off. Teasing, taunting and just plain bickering. The two continued to do so now until Mor uttered something she knew she shouldn't have as soon as she said it. This utterance, however, was not directed at the army commander, but rather the Shadowsinger taking his usual seat by the window looking out. Thinking. Wishing. Dreaming.

"I'm making up for Az' lack of drinking. Normally there isn't much for me to have, as he usually has some. But it's pretty apparent to everyone that things are not alright with him." It was as if the Third in command had not realised that the Illyrian was still in the room. Reactions from Mor and Cassian were similar. Mor quickly apologising, and Cassian dismissing the matter rapidly. But it was Amren who was different. It was Amren who was looking at the Shadowsinger and who knew that Morrigan was correct and that things were not 'alright'.

Azriel calmed Mor's nerves and the matter was dropped. Thankfully, Feyre and Rhysand soon returned with the requested wine. A smudge of lipstick on the side of Rhys' neck highlighting exactly what had taken the two of them so long, and instantly caught the attention of Cassian and Mor. Jumping at the opportunity to tease them. Azriel, however, was not as interested, as he turned back towards the window, he noted Amren.

Looking at him, as if he were laid bare. She gave him a look, and he could have sworn he heard her say,

 _'Don't think you've fooled me.'_

 **Please leave me your feedback! I really appreciate any comments, whether they be positive or negative. I am really trying to work and adapt my writing so any feedback is truly valued. Also, I love this series, and these characters and want to do them justice. Thanks! - Jessica.**


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4:

As the weeks went by and the cooler weather arriving un-naturally quickly, the members and citizens of the Night Court had comfortably settled into a routine following the recent war with Hybern and Feyre creating the new Treaty.

Elain spent most of her days either cooking or gardening, much to Nesta's delight. Feyre and Rhysand were always far too preoccupied with each other, Mor controlling the relationship between the Court of Dreams and the Court of Nightmares. Surprisingly, Mor and her father spoke more often and things weren't so obviously tense. Cassian, as always, looking over the Illyrian warbands and much to his delight many females finally, finally started to revolt against their misogynist families. Mor felt particularly positive about this change for obvious reasons.

Everyone had some routine, some pattern, some order to their lives. But Azriel, Azriel still felt unsettled after the War. Amren's routine, the Cauldron only knew. The Inner Circle always just thought she did whatever she wanted as the mood struck her.

Despite the War being over for over 6 months now, Azriel's still felt as though he would wake up the next morning to go to battle. He was still doing so now. As he punched the bag chained to the wall repeatedly. 1-2. 1-2. Wrong. Wrong. This is all wrong. He grunted in frustration and pushed himself away to drink some water. He felt incomplete as if something hadn't happened yet. He returned to the punching bag eager to release his frustrations, which, to his annoyance was apparent to his family.

"Az! Azriel, stop." That voice. That oh so familiar voice called to him. Rhysand. "Azriel you're hurting yourself." Azriel had been in a haze, not focusing on anything but the bag chained to the wall in front of him, but now that was not the case.

Rhysand had turned him, so that Rhys was now in front of him gripping his wrists to stop them from moving. So close, so close to the scars which haunted him. Azriel looked at his hands, at his knuckles.

Blood.

He was bleeding. He had been pushing himself so much, his body was beginning to break, to push back, as if his body was saying 'No. Enough,' but Azriel had simply not noticed. It wasn't as if he was purposefully trying to damage himself, but he had still found himself in this position. Uncaring. He sighed. Rhysand, noticing his frustration, thought it would be best to remove Azriel from this environment for the time being. He winnowed himself and the Shadowsinger to an area of Velaris, surrounded by beauty, but was mostly desolate and not known to many but the Inner Circle. The city was in full view. Rhys gestured to Azriel to take a seat on the nearby bench. He obliged.

"I didn't even realise what I was doing. I'm fine, I didn't mean to worry you." Az blurted out to his brother, wanting to ease the evident worry on his face. But, this had the opposite effect

"That is what is worrying me, Az. By the Cauldron, you didn't even realise what you were doing. What if I hadn't have stopped by the training room?" He asked. A silence fell between the two of them as the Illyrians both contemplated the events that had just transpired.

"I would have stopped."

"You don't know that!" Rhys snapped. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He quickly amended. "I just-I've just been noticing some things about you these last few months, and it is beginning to concern me."

"Months? No." Azriel defended. "I admit, I haven't been myself, but only in these past weeks or so."

"Are you sure about that?" The Lord asked. "Or do you think that's just when you started to notice it?" His tone was gentle but forceful. Forceful enough for Azriel to really take in his words. He hadn't noticed he was damaging his body, so why would he have noticed his change in behaviour? _Damn him._

 **Another chapter! Please do give me your feedback, I'll respond and hopefully act on comments as best as I can. I am eager to adapt and grow my writing, but I need responses! Thank you! -Jessica**


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5:

Rhysand left Azriel to think about recent events and to recollect his thoughts about what may be needed to be done next. Though it took a long time for the High Lord to leave his Shadowsinger alone, worried about his safety, and to if he might accidentally harm himself once more. He wouldn't though. Once his High Lord had pointed out what he had been doing to himself, he was shocked more than anything and he felt something else. Another feeling. He felt ashamed. He felt foolish. There was still so much that still needed to be done in the Night Court, Pythian. By the Cauldron, the world. Yet Azriel, he distracted his High Lord. Bastard. Why couldn't I just do this alone?

It had been a week now since Rhys confronted Azriel on his harmful actions towards himself, and Azriel had responded. He made sure he was eating well, getting enough sleep, drinking. Hell, he even wound bandages around his hands when training to avoid his body taking too much of a beating. He trained with Cassian. With Rhysand. He still helped Feyre with her flying occasionally. He made sure that he wasn't alone whenever he was in the mindset of a battle, of fighting.

 _Pathetic. Do I need babysitting now?_

One afternoon Azriel was sat outside reading one of his favourite novels, enjoying the last of the warmth for the season when Elain breezed onto the patio where the Shadowsinger was seated. Elain had always been the most classically beautiful of all three Archeron sisters. Granted, all of them were spectacular in their own way, but Elain was just the most appealing to Azriel. He guessed it was how both of them had the same inclination to keep themselves to themselves, he appreciated that particular trait. He sometimes wished his brothers would pick up on that.

"Hello. Feyre said you were out here, do you mind if I join you?" She asked, with a sweet tone. Elain never wanted to be rude or intrude on anyone's space, but Azriel hadn't spoken to her in what felt like a long time. He obliged. They sat together and talked. She opened up the basket she had been carrying and they shared a small loaf of rye bread she had baked earlier today. Once another conversation had come to a natural close, she started a more serious topic.

"Can I ask you something personal?"

"Of course." He replied almost instantly.

"I have been told little about your life, but I know the basics. I hope you don't think ill of me that I did not ask you directly, but from your mannerisms, I wasn't sure if you would be happy talking about it," Azriel nodded in confirmation, suddenly regretting his stance on this topic. "Ho-How did you manage to fit it?"

"Fit in?" He asked for clarification.

"With the other Fae and Illyrians. If you personally did not...feel like one of them." She responded, he voice becoming quieter as her sentence drew to a close. Azriel exhaled a long breath of air.

"That's difficult for me to answer.

"I kno- I'm sorry, that was inappropriate of me to ask."

"No no!" He articulated quickly. Gaging that she did not understand what she meant. "I mean, that would be difficult for me to answer as we all adapt in alternate ways, so ways I 'fit in' and ways you will are different. If I am correct in thinking that you are talking about yourself."

She nodded meekly.

"I just think," She exhaled. "Everyone here has someone. Feyre was born mortal, but she has Rhysand to feel like she belongs. Nesta flirts with Cassian, she'll deny it until heavens knows when" They chuckled at the comment. "Even Amren, who wasn't born Fae has Varian. I just- I feel like I am being silly. I feel a little like I am intruding on someone else's land." She finished. Azriel thought of a way to respond to this.

"It takes a long time to adapt to something like this. You were mortal, living to about 80 years old. But now, but now you are immortal with no average age span. That is a lot to comprehend. Feyre struggled a lot more than you know. I don't know how much you two have talked about things, but, she used to slip up on the wording of things, saying things like 'they' rather than 'we'. She still does occasionally. So do I," He admitted. "But I'll tell you what I told her. You get used to. There is no method I can teach you." He finished.

They continued to talk for a good while and Elain thanked him then politely excused herself to go to bed. Indeed, it was night time now. The stars shining down on Velaris, on the Rainbow. He smiled to himself. Maybe he needed to vent about things more than he thought.

 **Please give me your feedback. I know I am repeating myself a lot with this, but the only way I can improve is by constructive criticism. Plus, I have no idea where this story is headed, give me some ideas! - Jessica**


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6:

Another few weeks had passed. Everyone doing their usual routines, however, slowly, the members of the Night Court began to realise how absent Amren had been.

"She is probably just with Varian." Cassian commented when concern began to appear on the High Lord's face.

"Exactly," Mor agreed. "Their relationship is still relatively new. They are going to spend time together. You know, like a normal couple."

"Amren is hardly normal," Cassian responded in good humour. "I didn't even think she knew what romantic relationships were, let alone her being in one."

Everyone's worries fluttered away during the conversation and Morrigan bought up a different topic of conversation and they were all bickering lovingly once more. Azriel still didn't feel like himself, he'd felt better than what he did. But, but something was still lingering beneath him. He felt as though his shadows were screaming and shouting the answer at him, but he just could not hear them. He was even letting his shadows down. At one point in his life, they had been his only comfort, his only escape. And now he was disappointing them.

Azriel was once again sat in his usual seat by the window, looking out at the night sky. He kept thinking back to his conversation with Elain and how much that had helped him. Maybe that is what he needed. Someone to talk to. Not necessarily Elain, but perhaps someone with less bias. But what would he talk about? He didn't understand the issue.

That was always a part of Azriel's job, understanding the problems and beginning to tackle them. He couldn't even do that anymore. He wasn't good enough-

Without Azriel's knowledge, the army commander's focus shifted to the shadowsinger. Cassian could tell that his brother was hurting. It was apparent he wasn't himself. By the Cauldron, it was his brother. If Cassian was being honest with himself, he was hurt that the Illyrian didn't ask him for help, guidance, or whatever he needs during this time. However, Cassian thought better of these ideas. This was Azriel, he never asked for help. He always kept things to himself, even if this wasn't healthy for both his mind and body. Rhysand had informed Cassian of the day he caught Azriel accidentally harming himself, but the High Lord asked that he not let Azriel know that Cassian knew. Cassian, respecting his Lord's wishes, had kept his promise. That didn't mean Cassian couldn't speak to Azriel.

"Az?" A short pause, then a response.

"Yes."

"Can we speak outside for a moment?" Cassian asked, unusually polite. This mannerism was odd for Cassian, which immediately put the shadowsinger on alert. Cassian stood from his seat, his wings tucked in tight and left the house. Azriel following behind. As they left the rest of the people in the house shared looks of concern with one another. They were soon on the patio outside, where Azriel usually reads in the evening, and he sat in his usual seat. Azriel was always one for routines. Cassian took a seat on a bench opposite him and exhaled a long, slightly hyperbolic sigh. Azriel, for a change, started the interaction.

"What did you want to talk about?" Weariness flooded his tone.

"You," Cassian said without any hesitation.

"What about me?" Azriel asked, feigning innocence and ignorance.

"Oh, bullshit. You know exactly what I am talking about Az." Cassian retorted, his annoyance of Azriel neglecting himself becoming apparent in his tone. He'd rather take out his anger at whatever was causing his change in character, not him. Azriel nodded.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise to me!" Cassian exclaimed, "You haven't done anything wrong. I-I just want you to be you. I want you to be happy. At the moment Az, I don't think you are either of those things. Do you need me to do something? Get you anything?" The army commander's words flooded out of him as if the words had been waiting for some time to be said. Maybe he had gone too far. Perhaps the shadowsinger would step further into darkness at Cassian's small emotional outburst towards his brother, Azriel's soft smile indicating that the army commander was being delusional.

"I appreciate you saying that Cas, but I've been thinking about a lot of things, and I think this is something I need to deal with alone." Cassian already had his mouth open to shut down this statement.

"You always do. You always think you need to do everything by yourself. Whether that be about your personal life, your work life, or whatever else is going on. By the Cauldron, Az. We don't really know much about you." The shadowsinger began to bow his head with shame and, anger, but these words needed to be said. "I know you have good reasons for not wanting to talk about things, but Azriel, we are all here. You have a wealth of resources at your disposal: us. Rhys, Feyre, Mor, Amren and I." He finished.

"I understand that. I'm not an idiot." Azriel hissed, his anger rising at the accusation.

"I'm not saying you are. I'm just saying you don't have to do this alone-"

"I KNOW THAT!" He roared. "Just because I can talk to you all, doesn't mean I want to. I don't have to use all my 'resources' for me to understand something. People consistently tell me this. It's on repeat; 'you don't have to do this alone', 'I'm here for you' and the classic, 'We are here if you need to talk.' Just because you are offering this to me and I am not taking them does not make me a bad person, so enough with it." Azriel winnowed away from the Illyrian before more words could spill out, which he would later regret.

 **Another one down! I'm trying to write more this month considering it is NaNoWriMo, so please feel free to leave me comments and reviews to help me navigate this story better. To be completely honest, I am not 100% sure where I am going with this story so comments would benefit me greatly. Thanks -Jessica.**


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7:

Regret. That is what Azriel was feeling currently. He may have doubts about his other feelings about himself, but right now, in this moment, he felt regret. Cassian was only trying to help, Azriel knew this, but he couldn't help but think to himself that he didn't need it. He didn't need his help, but he went about telling Cassian this the wrong way. He needed to apologise. And he would. Tomorrow.

Cassian was still in bed, but Azriel couldn't wait a moment longer. His guilt eating away at him. Azriel shook the Illyrian gently but that didn't stop the army commander's reaction. Cassian was instantly awake, limbs flailing in a motion of defence.

"Cassian!" Azriel raised his arms, hopefully trying to calm the Illyrian. "It's me. It's Azriel." The army commander halted.

"Az. Cauldron, why the hell are you waking me?!" Cassian glanced at the time. "Shit. It's only 7 am."

"You're the one who is always telling Feyre that 7 am isn't early. Honestly, I thought you'd be awake already." Azriel said, arms lowering, chuckling to himself softly. Cassian grunted in response and confirmation. Then, as if the Illyrian remembered the outburst from Azriel the night before, his smile began to slowly fade. Azriel's seriousness returned soon after.

"Can we talk?" Azriel asked, mirroring his brother's words from the previous evening. Cassian straightened in his bed, sitting up, his duvet covered to his waist with his wings tucked in. His body still on alert since Azriel's disruption, like a true warrior. Always ready to defend, attack, and fight.

"Sure." Cassian agreed. Azriel gingerly sat on the end of Cassian's large bed, to accommodate for his wings. Both Illyrian's had the same size bed, though the females said Azriel's were the biggest, he sensed this was realisation was used for their own entertainment rather than actual truth. They were more than happy to measure, but Azriel simply laughed the suggestion away.

"I'm sorry about what I said last night. This is something I have been meaning to address to you, to all of you in fact," he stressed. "I just went about it the wrong way. You know my mood hasn't been it's strongest lately, not that that is an excuse for my behaviour." He quickly added.

"You were right though," Cassian replied. Azriel raised his groomed brows in question. "To some degree. We do often presume that of you. If you don't want our help, that's fine. We shouldn't push you to do something you would be uncomfortable with. I don't ever want you to feel pressured." Cassian looked right at his brother as if he was staring right into his soul. He felt the sincerity of his words instantly. The army commander would never lie to someone for amusement, even against his enemies, let alone his brother. He'd never had a real blood family, save for his mother, but with every day that passed, Azriel felt as though he couldn't remember her face more and more. And if there were ever a memory he would want to preserve in those days of darkness, it was her. Her light, her beauty. She was his only escape. But she was gone, and right now, in front of him, sat his brother. His true brother.

"I'm glad we talked," Azriel said honestly. Cassian agreed and dragged his brother to an embrace, no matter how much the shadowsinger pretended to resist it. The two then immediately forgot about the outburst, only with the commander telling him that he was expected in the ring in 20 minutes. Damn, it was good whilst it lasted.

"Where is my necklace?" Amren asked in lieu of a hello the following evening. Everyone looked around at eachother, each one in the same state of confusion. She heavily sighed.

"My necklace. With all the gems. Purple." She stated with a sharp bluntness.

"How are we supposed to know?" Cassian stated. "You rarely let us go to your place." Oh Cassian. With all the eyes in the room now on the commander, he quickly gathered that he should have held his tongue. He corrected his statement.

"I don't know. Do you?" He asked no one in particular, eager to take the Second's focus off of him and towards some other unknowing victim in the room. They all theorised different locations the necklace could be, all being quickly dismissed by Amren saying how "foolish" their ideas were. Azriel could sense that this necklace had something of importance to Amren. Yes, Amren had misplaced jewellery before, albeit, rarely but it had happened. When she had she did ask, but never like this. Never this obsessed or attached. This was definitely different somehow. Amren left soon after, wanting not to waste any more time. Azriel winnowed to Amren's apartment and found her flat in a clutter. It was a wonder she ever found a way to navigate herself around this. And there, in the corner was the short, black-haired female.

"Would you like me to help you look for it?" He asked. Her head didn't even turn.

"No." A quipped reply returned.

"I could help-"

"No thank you. You can leave." She echoed.

"But-" Then he was gone. Amren had somehow transported Azriel back to the house with the others. Winnowed him? Alone? The second obviously wanted to be alone. _She was always finding ways to push him back for finding out more about her. More ways of surprising him._

 **Another one! I hope you liked this chapter, a little different to my usual style. Please do let me know what you thought. I'd like to continue doing these frequent updates, but I can't without your support. I still need a sense of direction of where to go with this story. Thanks -Jessica.**


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8:

"At least we know she can winnow now." Mor pointed out to Azriel and the others.

"Yes, I suppose. I wasn't aware that people could winnow others without them." Azriel said in annoyance. He was supposed to know everything. For there to be no surprises. Rhysand had caught on to his spymaster's irritation and soon soothed his nerves.

"I've never heard of that before either. Perhaps it is something new." The High Lord commented. "Anyway, if there were ever going to be someone to receive this new part of winnowing, of course, it would be Amren."

"Jealous?" Rhysand's mate called to him. He turned to her, that signature smile crawling onto his face.

"No." He quipped. She just grinned at him.

Nesta, Cassian and Azriel were all outside, all engaged in their own activities. Nesta: reading, Cassian: training with the punching bag and Azriel: looking through different texts and studying them. Learning them. Always wanting to harness as much knowledge as he could. He'd never had a formal education when he was a child, so he tried to compensate for that lack of learning now, as an adult. He was still, to this day, finding better ways of training, analysing, and even flying. Azriel felt that there would always be something he wouldn't understand about flying. The Illyrians had adapted and trained so quickly that they rarely thought twice about flying, but every time the shadowsinger set off to fly, there was always a hint of hesitation.

"What are you reading?" Cassian asked Nesta when he had taken a short break to drink some water and catch his breath. She slowly lowered her book and pointedly showed him the title. He grinned.

"Yet another romance novel."

"Yes." She replied. "It's the only place that men aren't so repulsive to me."

"In a fictional world?" Cassian questioned. She didn't reply verbally. She only gave him a small smile and continued to read on. Cassian just shrugged and rolled his eyes, putting his water down as he headed back to the punching bag.

Months. That's how long Cassian and Nesta had been playing this game with one another. Both were fully aware of what they were doing. It reminded Azriel of how Rhysand and Feyre acted towards one another not too long ago. They had been officially mated for almost a year now, and it had been 7 months since the war had ended. Yet they still had not relented. Cassian admitted to Cassian, not long after the war, what had happened between himself and Nesta when he thought he was going to die, but nothing physical had happened since then. It was only this. The bickering, the flirting, and the playful suggestions.

Cassian halted in his punching and glanced at Azriel, gesturing for him to join him with training.

"I'm bored with this thing. Train with me?" Cassian asked. The shadowsinger glanced down at his work and nodded in agreement. He needed a break. Setting aside his work, he joined the Illyrian and instantly their blades were crashing against each one another.

After an hour of training, Elain easily glided into the garden and smoothly sat next to her sister. She had been baking against. Always cooking or gardening. Nesta set aside her book.

"Are you okay?" Nesta asked.

"Of course. I baked you some rolls, you mentioned the other day how I didn't bake them much anymore, so I thought I would." She unvailed them from her basket. The Illyrians stopped and looked at them. Both of them distracted by the females. Honestly, Azriel thought they could be so stereotypically male sometimes. The four fell into an easy conversation. About her baking, their training, their reading, and so on.

Though Azriel's mood had still not returned to it's fullest, at this point he was beginning to accept it as the new normal, he felt as though he really needed this. Just a day with his family, with easy flowing conversations, familiar surroundings and the cool wind banishing any dark thoughts away.

 **Please let me know what you thought! I am constantly trying to improve my writing, so I would greatly appreciate any feedback. -Jessica.**


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9:

Azriel was, yet again, looking over some books he has read countless times over. About training, flying, wars, armies, battles, etc. Anything an Illyrian shadowsinger might need to know, yet still, this mood just didn't want to leave him. He supposed the books may give him some answers, but after months of realising his bad mood, he had gotten better at hiding it from his family, but not from himself. It was as if every action and thought he took was affected by whatever it is that is bothering him.

"Still looking over the books, huh?" Mor asked as she seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Azriel's raised his eyes to look at her. Her blonde hair fell effortlessly over her shoulders, the perfect wave that only someone who had spent hours on her hair could give an unknowing eye the impression of a casual look. Azriel knew this.

"Yes," he replied. "Just checking things."

"Again?" She asked, her voice rising. "I swear, you are always reading those."

"Not just these," He mumbled. "I've been looking at some newer material in the library. I keep trying to get Cassian to come look over some things with me, but we both know why he won't." He chucked softly at his own joke, as did Mor. Azriel had bought up Cassian in the hopes of changing the subject, unfortunately, Mor knew what Azriel was trying to do. As she finished laughing, she quickly turned serious.

"Trying to change the subject doesn't work on me." She declared. Azriel rose his eyebrows in challenges.

"Okay," she relented. "It doesn't work on me that much anymore." Azriel smiled at her confession.

"Yes, I have noticed." Azriel remarked.

"So," Mor tried to get back to the point. "What are you looking for?" He looked from the female, down to his books, then his eyes returned to Mor.

"If I am being honest, I am not really sure." He confessed.

"What do you mean?"

"There isn't anything I am actively searching for, I am just refreshing my memory." Not a lie, but not exactly telling the truth either.

"Hmm..." Mor hummed. She wouldn't push him. Morrigan knew that she had a power to push Az to a point as she debated doing so now, but thought better of it as this seems to be a sensitive subject, and she didn't want to step too far into his personal space.

Thankfully, Mor dropped the subject rather suddenly and the two were quickly back to talking about Cassian and Bryaxis. Then moving on to talking about how Drakon and Miriyam were doing. They were well, as far as Mor had heard. The two of them stopped talking when they heard voices from the other room, they decided to investigate.

As Mor and Azriel stepped into the living room, they saw and easily heard, a disgruntled Amren. Feyre and Rhysand were already in the room before Amren had arrived so they too were startled by her sudden appearance.

"Ah," Rhysand called. "You're _finally_ here." The dig directed towards Amren was acknowledged.

"If you really needed me, I would be here." She defended. "Are you still pissy about the meeting?"

"Yes." Rhysand stated firmly, his Illyrian insticts telling him not to back down. "The Treaty was created to keep relationships in Prythian, and outside of it, as healthy and as open as they can be. How do you think it looks when a member of our Inner Circle," He gestured to Feyre. "can't be bothered to show up?" Amren barely confirmed she heard him and to which she replied with-

"I had other things to be doing."

"Like what?" Feyre asked, in a gentler tone than Rhys's. In the hopes of trying to not to make Amren feel ganged up on or pressured.

"On things which are none of your damn concern." Amren retorted. "I came to see if you needed anything from me, and almost immediately you accusing me of what? Not wanting to be bothered with menial jobs." Her disgust and anger were rising with every word she spoke.

"We just need to show unity Amren, that was all they meant by it." Morrigan soothed.

"I know." She snipped, then exhaled. "I can't deal with you self-obsessed idiots right now." And as quickly as she appeared, Amren vanished. The four people left in the room looked at one another in shock. What just happened? Just a moment later, Cassian casually walked into the room with a bottle of beer and sat down, unaware of what had just occurred. He quickly gaged everybody's reactions and asked-

"What? What did I miss?" The army commander asked.

It was almost comical.

 **Please do let me know your thoughts! I'd love to keep going with this story as this series, and the characters within, mean the world to me and I want to do them justice. Please comment and give me feedback as I am not entirely sure where this story is headed. -Jessica.**


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10:

After everyone had informed Cassian of what had happened and he was now fully aware, they talked about it.

"Maybe you were slightly harsh, Rhys." Feyre commented. "She was right, we barely said hello before we questioned her." Rhysand looked at his mate and acknowledged her statement.

"I needed to address this matter," he replied. "Maybe I should have given it some time. But, urgh, the upcoming meeting with Thesan, she is not willing to go to. She is our Second Feyre, there are duties she needs to do, whether she likes them or not. I mean, it's not like we like doing all we do." He finished, gesturing to the others in the room. She nodded in agreement, and they made intense eye contact. A gesture the Inner Circle were well aware of, and which meant they were talking privately, mind-to-mind. Mor coughed and turned to the Illyrians in an effort to give the couple more privacy.

"Rita's?" Mor asked innocently. Cassian rolled his eyes.

"You know other clubs exist, right?" He said. "Cauldron, it wouldn't kill us to go to a different place. I'm getting a little bored of going there all the time."

"Fine." She agreed tersely. Clearly annoyed at the fact that they would not be going to her usual place. She turned to the Shadowsinger.

"Are you coming?" The hope. Just the hope in her voice was enough to make Azriel consider and as if the female saw that consideration, her eyes lit up with glee. He couldn't say no after seeing that look.

"Okay," He relented. "Just this once." She just simply beamed at him.

They were all going out this evening it seemed. Rhysand had sent a message to Amren as a form of invitation, whether or not she would show was still yet to be seen. They were at another club in Velaris, still just as good as Rita's despite Mor's insistent protests. They were all sat in a booth with alcohol flowing around for everyone. Azriel had started his 3rd and final drink of the night, he decided. He didn't want to get too drunk or disorientated that if something were to happen. It was unlikely that an event like that would take place, but the spymaster wasn't taking any chances. Azriel stood to go to the bathroom and as he returned he noticed Amren at the bar, ordering a drink. Ever since she was fully transformed into Fae she had been sampling all kinds of foods and drinks to see what she would like, she had adapted well, as everyone knew she would. It was still a shock to the others though, to see her eating and drinking, rather than consuming blood. He walked over to her and sat next to her.

"Hey." He nodded an introduction. Amren turned to him, swirling her straw in her drink which Azriel didn't recognise, perhaps it was her own concoction.

"Where are the others?" She asked in lieu of a hello. Amren had a habit of doing that, he noted. He gestured to the booth where they were all sat, her gaze followed and she nodded, confirming she could see them. It was hard to be heard over the loud music, but Azriel commented.

"Rhys told us you are reluctant to go to the meeting with Thesan next month. Why?"

"I will go," she protested. "I just don't see the point. I'd rather be doing something else with my time. I didn't realise you'd all be pissy. Especially Rhys." She added. Indeed, even Azriel had been shocked by his reaction last night. It was a tone that he rarely heard from his High Lord. He nodded his agreement.

"Likewise. The Treaty is still in its early stages, he just wants it to go well. You know how long he has wanted this to work. Peace in Prythian, well," he paused. "as much as there can be with what has happened in the past." She didn't say anything in response, she just simply lifted the glass to her lips and drank. He smiled softly. He rested his scarred hand on Amren's shoulder briefly as he stood in a comforting gesture. "We'll be over there. Come over when you are ready."

As he approached his friends, it was evident they had noticed Amren's presence.

"Is she alright?" Cassian asked Azriel privately.

"Yes," He answered. "I think so. I think, just like the rest of us, she has some stuff she needs to sort out." Cassian could understand. Yes, Azriel had been noticeably more preoccupied than the others but every member of the Night Court, hell, even Prythian, had private things they needed to work though. He saw a hint of sadness of the army commander's face, in the hopes of elevating this, he bought up a subject he knew would bring a grin to the Illyrian.

"How is Nesta?"

"The usual, I suppose." It was evident he was trying to disguise a smile.

"At least she has agreed to some training now," Azriel commented. But Cassian didn't think this was enough.

"Oh yeah," he stated sarcastically. "A whole hour a week. That's practically nothing-"

"At least it is something." Rhysand lazily cut in. The High Lord had now turned his attention to his brothers as his mate and cousin had gone to were Amren sat at the bar. Cassian just grunted in response.

"I don't mind training her for more." He said, trying, and failing, to sound disinteresting. Azriel chuckled, whilst Rhysand said,

"Yes Cas, we know how much you don't mind."

 **Please do let me know what you thought of this chapter. Also, a question, would you rather have longer chapters but with less updates, or short chapters like this but updated more often. Let me know. Thanks! -Jessica**


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11:

"You've clearly been slacking on training," Cassian commented after his managed to knock Azriel down again, for the 4th time now. "Get up." He reached down and assisted his brother to help him get back on even footing. Already, Cassian was ready.

"Hold on," Azriel laughed. "Let me just get a drink." He went over to the small table on the outskirts of the area where they trained and got himself a glass of water. Once feeling better, Azriel walked back to Cassian slowly, quietly. As to not alert the army commander that he had returned. He hadn't expected it to work, but it had. Azriel managed to grab the distracted Illyrian and knock him down, then quickly moving over him to pin him down. He grinned down at him.

"I've just been going easy on you." Azriel chuckled.

"Yeah?" Cassian questioned. His body and mind managing to quickly adapt to what Azriel's actions had done. "Then you won't have an issue if I do-" Before Cassian had even finished his sentence, Azriel was already defending himself, managing, only by an inch, to evade the Illyrian's attempt to regain control of the situation. They continued to train and bicker simultaneously for some time. After an hour or so, Rhys had joined them and all three were finding ways to challenge one another in the ring. Rhysand used his shadows to create darkness as an obstacle for the Illyrians, Azriel used his shadows to play tricks on his body's positioning whilst Cassian just used his brute force. After some time Cassian said to Azriel.

"You seem to be doing better."

"I'm fine," Azriel responded. "It just took me some time to come down from what happened, I guess." Both Rhysand and Cassian nodded in understanding. They knew what it was like to be a soldier and how it took some Illyrians a longer time to settle after a war or battle. "I was just a bit confused as to why this War impacted me so much." He later confessed.

"We all have different reasons for it Az," Rhys commented, in an effort to try and provide his brother with an answer. Azriel agreed and they all moved on from the subject, their blades all clashing once more.

Rhysand was correct. The War affected everyone in different ways and was significant for many reasons. Of course, it was still a war, Azriel wasn't stupid, but the most recent war seemed to of impacted Azriel more than the previous one. The war over 500 years ago was his first true war, he wasn't as experienced, so why was this one so different? Perhaps it was that he had more to lose and he was not used to that, but they were all safe now, so why was he still unsettled? Maybe not all of them were...Azriel shook his head as if he could shake the thoughts away. He resolved that he would think about this more privately and not with his brothers as an audience.

As Azriel walked into the living room he found all three of the Archeron sisters. Elain was braiding Feyre's hair whilst she was painting, whilst Nesta, the eldest, sat on the other side of the room reading some books about Fae history. It had been an adjustment for all of them, but Nesta had now realised that she needed to accept what had happened and try and move on so she often spent her time learning about the different cultures, festivals, norms and values that the Fae had. All types of Fae including; High Fae, Illyrians and lesser faeries. The latter was a term that was slowly, oh so slowly beginning not to be used as frequently. Much to everyone's delight, but in particular, it had always been Rhys' dream to see the divide between the Fae lessen.

"Hey," Feyre said as Azriel walked in. The interaction had caused her to move her head slightly and later resulted in Elain lightly tapping her in annoyance of the tampering of her delicate work with her hair. Az smiled.

"Hello." He greeted them all. Nesta lowered her book and looked at the Illyrian.

"Where is Cassian?" She questioned.

"Still training," Azriel replied. "You know what he is like, he would do it all the time if we didn't stop him and if he didn't have other things to do." Nesta had a disapproving look on her face to feign disinterest but Azriel could see the slight smile behind her eyes.

"I think he'll be here soon." Azriel added as he remembered what Cassian had told him just before he left.

"Okay." She said in response. Before Azriel sat down he went to where Feyre was to look at her painting she had been working on. It was not yet finished, but already Azriel was astounded.

"Feyre, the painting is beautiful." And it was. It was a landscape of Velaris, of the Rainbow during the evening. It was almost like a map, Azriel could pinpoint every building the intricacy was so detailed. With every piece she did, her progress was becoming more and more evident. She did not even shy away when someone called her an 'artist'. A phrase she used to reject or brush off, but Azriel was proud that his High Lady was finally feeling confident and accomplished in her magnificent paintings, as she should. Feyre blushed in good nature.

"Thank you." She replied. Putting down her brush briefly she examined it and smiled, then resumed her work. Elain was still intricately plaiting Feyre's hair, but it was becoming apparent that she was becoming a little frustrated with her loss of mobility, so gently she asked her older sister.

"Elain," She said in a soft tone. "When do you think you'll be done with my hair?" Not a dismissal, but a gentle way to bring her mind into the perspective of stopping. Elain sighed.

"Now." She replied, her spirit slightly disheartened. "It's not done, but it will do."

"It looks incredible." Nesta piped up, eager to lift Elain's spirits. Elain went over to Nesta and sat with her. When she had, Feyre stood and crossed to the wide mirror which hung on the wall and turned slightly to see her hair. Beautifully braided and cared for with little daisies scattered all over, save for a bit towards the bottom of the plait. Her fingers skated over that part.

"That's the bit I didn't finish," Elain spoke. Feyre just turned and thanked her for her efforts and made an excuse.

"I just like to move freely when I am painting." Elain nodded in understanding. Always.

 **Hey, just thought I would experiment with a slightly longer chapter. What are your thoughts? Please do let me know. I understand that I am repeating myself a lot but I need some feedback in order to progress. Thanks! -Jessica**


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12:

"I've been to these palaces many times before," Rhysand called aloud. "But I'm always surprised how lovely they look when I return." They were all in the Dawn Court in Thesan's palaces. Indeed, Rhysand was not exaggerating, these lands of architecture, art and precision led to truly astounding views and buildings. Thesan smiled in a polite thank you and gestured towards the table.

"Shall we get started?" He said. The last time they had all been here was when all the High Lords were having a meeting about the upcoming war with Hybern. A lot had changed since then, and they still were.

"Yes absolutely."

They all seated around the large table just like the last High Lord meeting, this time with Amren present. Surprisingly. Maybe she listened to Azriel's words more than he expected her to. Her short black hair swaying softly as she sat. They all discussed what needed to be discussed, and like the Day Court, everything had, as predicted, went well in everyone's eyes. Just as the meeting was drawing to a close Thesan asked.

"Who is next on your High Lord meeting agenda?"

"Tarquin, in the summer court," Feyre answered. Thesan smiled and then asked another question.

"The blood rubies have been discarded then, I presume?"

"Yes," Rhys answered. "Hesitantly, but yes. But that's what these meetings are about, building and sustaining relationships as best we can."

"What a lovely note to end on," stated Thesan. A polite dismissal of the meeting. "Would you like me to show you or anyone else around the Court?" Everyone politely declined, but Azriel had always wanted a closer look...

"If your offer is sincere, then I'd like a tour," Azriel stated firmly. The Inner Circle looked towards one another in slight confusion.

"Absolutely," He agreed. "Let me say goodbye to your friends and then we'll go." They all said goodbye to Thesan and Azriel. Cassian gave the spymaster an odd look but the Illyrian would ignore the note of confusion for now. He would discuss it with him later. When Thesan was ready he turned to Azriel.

"Anything, in particular, you'd like to see?" He asked. Azriel responded by just suggesting that the High Lord take him where ever he'd like. And he certainly delivered. Thesan and Azriel travelled around the Dawn Court. In all honesty, the shadowsinger had expected this tour to last an hour, 2 at the most. It ended up being almost the entirety of the day. Not only were the palaces a place to admire, but so was every building, no matter how worn and torn they were. They all contained such beauty.

"I had no idea you enjoyed this place so much," Mused Thesan.

"Neither did I to be honest," Confessed Azriel. "I mean, I love the Night Court, it's my home. It's just this place has always captured my attention. It has caught the other's attention too, they are just too foolish to take you up on your offer." They laughed at the joke and soon said goodbye. The Illyrian thanking Thesan immensely and giving him the option to return whenever he wanted.

When he finally returned home back in Velaris he didn't immediately go to his family. He needed to relax and rest for a short while. Walking around the Dawn Court all day had impacted the shadowsinger more than he'd care to admit to others or himself. He went to his bathing room and happily spent an hour dozing in the hot, bubbly water.

After he had dried off he went to find them all. They weren't in the house, but as he was looking around for them he found a note in Mor's handwriting:

 _Az,_

 _We are at Rita's. Come! XXXXXXX_

"Of course," he muttered. "Where else would they all be?" Judging by the note, they expected him to show up, it would be bad manners not too. He wondered if Elain and Nesta would join them this evening, it was rare when they did, but Azriel could not sense them in the nearby area. He flew there within a few minutes, taking his usual flying route. As he walked in he almost instantly heard Mor's delight at him showing up. She rushed to him and flung her arms around his shoulders.

"You came!" She said. Azriel, returning the embrace, muttered to himself.

"Of course I did, besides you always end up here." She pulled back from him and frowned at the joke at her expense. He just laughed and they made their way to the back of the club, where they all usually resided. Elain and Nesta had joined them on this occasion, however, unlike everyone else in attendance, they weren't drinking any alcohol.

"How was the tour?" Rhys asked, his voice wavering slightly, indicating the amount of alcohol he had already consumed, and the amount of time Azriel had been away.

"Lovely," Azriel replied. When he received questioning glances from his family, he had to insist. "It was lovely, Thesan showed me around many places. You should have come, you would have liked it Feyre." He finished, gesturing towards his High Lady. Feyre looked as though she was considering but then Azriel had a thought. If Rhys was already this drunk, Cauldron knows how the others would be. Perhaps that would explain how affectionate Mor had been earlier on in the evening?

"I'll go another time," Feyre replied. Azriel had always caught Feyre glancing at especially beautiful locations in awe on the rare occasion they travelled around Prythian, and indeed the Dawn Court. If Azriel was being honest, he was surprised she did not come with him. He bowed in agreement. Mor then asked everyone if they wanted to dance, normally they would have all said no, but in their inebriated states, they all said yes. Except for Azriel, Nesta and Elain. The only 3 sober people in the group, perhaps the entire club.

The three of them talked to one another, as usual, Azriel quite happily explaining the sights he saw in terrific detail. During their conversation, Az looked up in time to see Morrigan rushing to the bathroom with her hand wrapped around her mouth, presumably to vomit. Elain and Nesta had caught that Azriel's attention was now divided and looked to where he was looking and responded.

"Will she be alright?" Nesta asked, a hint of worry in her voice.

"Yes," Azriel responded. "To be honest, I think the vomiting has only just begun." Cassian then quickly followed Mor's direction and headed into the adjoining bathing room. "For all of them." He muttered.

"I'm assuming they will not be well in the morning, then?" Elain questioned.

"I think you may be right," He responded. "I am going to take those two," gesturing to the general directions of the bathing rooms, "home, would you like me to take you too?" He asked.

"Yes," Nesta said, but a heartbeat later Elain said,

"What about Feyre and Rhys?" All three turned to see them wrapped up in each other as if no one else in the world existed. The music had turned into a soft, slow, but passionate beat and they didn't look like they wanted to be disturbed or interrupted anytime soon.

"I think they'll be okay with each other."

 **What do you guys think of the longer chapters? I want to try and produce more content, but I don't want to force it and for my writing to not feel natural. Let me know what you think. Honestly, one comment goes a long way. Thanks! - Jessica**


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13:

They were miserable. There they were, all sat at the breakfast table looking truly miserable. Their heads groaning in pain. Their livers silently cursing them for ever putting that poison into their sacred bodies. They may be immortal, but that certainly didn't mean they were free from pain, whether self-inflicted or not.

"Good morning!" Azriel chimed as he walked in with a broad smile. As predicted; Amren, Cassian, Mor, Feyre and Rhys were all terribly hung over. What a shame...

"Shhh!" Cassian snapped. He groaned and rubbed his temples with his fingers in small circular rotations. Feyre just put her head on the table and covered her head with her arms, presumably to block out the light. Rhysand, feeling empathetic, rubbed her back in small soothing motions, his face looking unusually pale. Almost as pale as when they first saw him when he first came from Under the Moutain. Mor was sat next to Feyre drinking some hangover concoction she had brewed and perfected over the years. Her face had some colour, so presumably, it was working. Amren, however, seemed unfairly perky.

"You seem well Amren," He commented.

"Yes well, someone had to keep an eye on these idiots whilst you were away. Plus, alcohol doesn't impact me as much as you fools." She replied. Azriel nodded in agreement and interest. There was still so much that they didn't know about her, yes she had admitted some small details enough to satisfy their hunger for knowledge, but not enough for the spymaster.

"Can you get me some water Az?" Cassian asked. The shadowsinger turned to fulfil the request but the Illyrian interrupted him. "Hold that thought." And he was up and walking quickly to the bathroom.

"I would have thought you would all have learnt by now."

Towards the evening they were all feeling much better, thankfully. But, not so thankfully, they all had duties to attend to. Mor was going to go to another meeting with her father to talk about how the dynamics were currently working between them and their visits to Velaris. Surprisingly, the visits were not as dreadful as she had once predicted, she, thankfully, rarely saw them. Cassian had to go to the Illyrian camps and make sure everything was still being managed under Rhys' orders, if not, Cassian would be more than happy to punish them and prove that he was worthy of his current position, no matter what they said. Amren, Feyre and Rhysand were just going to have a small private meeting with the three of them, to discuss what would be happening in the forthcoming months. Azriel, however, had little to do with his role as spymaster. Currently, there was nobody who needed spying on. Of course, Azriel had his spies in the other courts, even the Court of Nightmares, but reports were all good, the usual. So he decided to go with Cassian.

"You don't need to come with me, Az," Cassian uttered.

"I know," he replied. "But I would be bored otherwise, besides I can use this as a training exercise."

"Good," Cassian grinned, his wings beginning to beat in preparation of flying. "Meet you there." And his was off. Cassian always viewed everything as a competition, even now. As Azriel landed smoothly, Cassian was already standing a few feet away. The army commander didn't say anything, he just had a small smirk on his face.

"You left before me, you had an advantage," Azriel argued.

"Sure," Cassian dismissed, his grin slowly faded into something more wicked. "Shall we go see our dear old friends?" He asked.

"No, you go on ahead," He answered. "I'm going to see if the women are training as they should be, help them if need be." Cas nodded.

"I'll be with you shortly."

"Take your time," Azriel responded, hoping to not rush the Illyrian. Once more Azriel was flying to a camp a mile away from where women trained without as many of the male Illyrians glares or retorts. They had found it was better to train them in an environment separate, then slowly merge with the current ones. Slowly, this had to be done slowly. When he landed he saw 6 females training outside in the ring both with and without weapons. He turned to see some doing laps to build stamina and more doing other exercises. Aideen, the leader of this particular camp appeared and smiled at Azriel's appearance. Her dark skin seemed to glow in the unusually bright sunlight, with her hair tied back in a similar to fashion to how Cassian presented himself, she looked like a true Illyrian.

"Shadowsinger, good to see you." She greeted politely. They shook hands firmly.

"Cassian and I are checking out things today, it's good to see them training," he gestured to the Illyrian women training outside. "Any issues?"

"No more than usual," she replied. "but we are getting there. I dare say we could have some help from you Az." He rose his eyebrows in question. She smiled. "Want to do a demonstration?" In the months since she had been given the role her confidence had grown incredibly, learning moves nobody knew how to perfect, encouraging others, but she had never suggested something like this. She was truly coming into her own out here.

"Okay. With or without weapons?"

"I don't need weapons." She declared with an air of confidence, creeping into arrogance. "Do you?"

"No." He muttered. They both walked into an occupied ring and she made an announcement to everyone that if they wanted to watch, they were more than welcome to do so. They started attacking and defending, neither taking an incredibly strong blow. Yet. Her short height played to her strengths, she was faster than Azriel. The shadowsinger may have had more build, more muscle, but by no means did that mean that she was worse. They continued to parry with each other, both stopping occasionally to show the Illyrian's some tactics that they could use whilst fighting. When the demonstration was over they both went to get some water.

"You've improved a lot in the past few months," Azriel noticed.

"Yeah, well," she said, "someone has to show both the males and females how to fight." They laughed together.

"Indeed."

 **Let me know what you thought of this chapter! I thought I would try to add a new character, let me know if you like it, or if it felt too forced. I really want to learn and adapt as a writer so comments and feedback go a long way for me. Thanks very much. -Jessica**


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14:

After making sure everyone was happy and well as can be in Aideen's camp, Azriel flew back to where Cassian was and quickly spotted the army commander. He wasn't difficult to find, with his 7 Siphons he stood out easily. He walked over to see that he was speaking, rather aggressively, to 2 other Illyrian warriors. As he neared their conversation became clearer.

"They are Illyrian's whether you like it or not," Cassian growled.

"It's not our fault if they don't want to train," the other Illyrian, Durin, retorted. Azriel made his presence known by walking loudly as to not startle the warriors and demanded,

"What is going on?"

"They're not letting the few women here train." He replied to his brother in an eerily quiet tone

"They don't want to train!" The male next to Durin snapped.

"Because you won't let them!" He growled, his temper failed him and he attacked. Instantly limbs were attacking and defending. Cassian was expertly taking on both males as though they were nothing, it was as if Cassian was performing. The rise in volume and violence drew the attention of others, and a crowd began to develop. In one swift blow Cassian had knocked Durin unconscious, his body limp with his wings, rattled with scars, covering his back. He then turned to attack the second male, showing his teeth in an act of anger, but the male quickly flew north. Cassian made to follow but Azriel stopped him with a forceful pull on his shoulder.

"This isn't why we are here. You've already made your point," he gestured to Durin's body, who now, was being escorted to the infirmary on site. "Let's train." He pushed. Azriel understood that he needed to dispose of the Illyrian's adrenaline and anger. Cassian's face changed and looked as though he was agreeing, so Azriel loosened his hold on him.

"Okay," he uttered. So they both made their way to the ring. Azriel knew he would get knocked off his ass multiple times in front of an audience, but if it calmed Cassian and showed that his brother was indeed worth the position of army commander, he didn't care one bit.

When Azriel and Cassian returned to the house bloodied and dirty Rhysand drawled,

"I take it didn't go as planned."

"Durin is an asshole. I'm going to wash." He marched upstairs without a second glance. Azriel himself was also not in the best of appearances but thought it would be best to inform everyone what had happened before he attempted to clean the grime caked onto his body, his wings. He told Rhys, Feyre, Mor and Amren of Aideen and her camp, their own smiles reflecting Azriel's thoughts on the matter. Then he spoke of Durin and what he had claimed and that is what made the Illyrian's appearance make sense.

"Cassian knocked out Durin," he stated.

"I would expect nothing less," Amren uttered.

"Where is he now?" Feyre asked, she was still to meet Durin but from his manner today, she certainly wasn't missing much.

"Durin is in the infirmary at the moment," He replied. "I'll check on his recovery tomorrow." As much as they were glad Cassian had punished him, Durin was still a camp Lord and had authority in the camps. They couldn't be seen as going around killing all the camp lords, that could possibly lead to trouble. Rhysand nodded then made a suggestion to the shadowsinger.

"Maybe you should go clean yourself up too, Az." He nodded.

"I will," Azriel turned and followed his brother's path upstairs to his own bathing room and washed away both the blood and thoughts of the day.

As he exited the bathing room and entered his bedroom Mor was lounging on his bed. With only a towel wrapped around his waist, this wasn't ideal.

"Oh!" Mor said as she took in Azriel's lack of clothes, "I thought you would be dressed, sorry, I'll give you a moment."

"Thanks." She stood from his bed and hastily scurried to the door and closing it lightly. Azriel dried and changed promptly, thinking that Morrigan obviously wanted to talk about something important if this couldn't wait until morning. He called her to come back in and she did so.

"Sorry about that," She uttered. He quickly dismissed her worry and asked what had brought her to his bedroom.

"I was just wondering how Aideen's camp is doing. You didn't go into too much detail earlier." She responded.

"Yeah, I wanted to get to the point, sorry."

"Don't apologise. Tell me about the camp," she demanded again, her eagerness getting in the way of her manners. He chuckled and told his dear friend about Aideen, the other females and how their training was going. Mor seemed satisfied with what she heard from Azriel, but not overly happy.

"Are you alright?" He asked tentatively.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay." She replied. "It's getting late. Goodnight," She quickly winnowed away and soon her body was no longer present. He'd never seen her so eager to leave. Obviously, Azriel wasn't the only person faking their happiness.

 **Let me know what you thought of this chapter. Also, would you prefer longer chapters, but less frequent updates, or smaller chapters like this but frequent updates? Do let me know. Thanks! -Jessica**


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15:

"Durin is healing well," Azriel said to Rhysand the next day, "Still on the mend, but nothing that wouldn't be out of the ordinary for a training Illyrian." His Lord nodded.

"Good," he replied "I don't want this to become a concern."

"It won't." He promised.

"And Cassian?" Feyre asked as she walked into the kitchen. Rhys and Azriel were sat on the table to the side of the room. Azriel replied as he looked up towards his High Lady.

"I haven't had a chance to speak to him this morning. I was hoping to see him before I saw Durin, but he had already left. Nuala told me that he was heading towards a different Illyrian camp, though I am not sure which one." He confessed. "I'll look for him after breakfast."

"Okay, but don't make it too obvious that you are checking in on him. I don't want him thinking that we don't trust him or that we are trying to baby him." Rhysand said. Azriel nodded in confirmation

"Which camp is he likely to be at?" Feyre asked as she was making herself a cup of tea.

"Any of them really. I should start looking." Azriel grabbed some food that was easy to eat on the go and set off. Despite Feyre's protest that he should eat before he left. He couldn't bring himself to do it, his appetite was gone, replaced with worry for his brother. Sure, Cassian had fought with Illyrian warlords before, of course, he had. Cassian had a higher rank than the camp Lords, but he had never gone this far. It was made explicitly clear that they had authority in the camps, and that serious damage could not be done. Serious damage was a lot, especially to an Illyrian. But Cassian wouldn't have stopped if it wasn't for Azriel's intervention. It eerily reminded him of his situation only a few months ago with Rhysand. Azriel wouldn't have stopped if it was not for his Illyrian brother intercepting him.

Hours. That's how long Azriel had been looking for Cassian. He went to every camp he could think of and nothing. No one had seen the Illyrian today. Azriel did not let on that he didn't know where the army commander was, he was trying to keep this to be as low profile as possible. He didn't want anyone to worry or question Azriel, he was also doing this for both his own sanity and Rhysand's. He returned to the house of wind to find; Rhys, Mor, Feyre, Amren and Elain. Rhys quickly gauged that his spymaster had been unable to locate the army commander.

"Nothing?"

"No," he replied, a sulk crawling into his voice.

"What's happened?" Mor asked. Elain, Amren and Mor all taking notice of Azriel's arrival and obvious annoyance.

"We don't know where Cassian is this morning. He got a bit...overwhelmed last night and we don't know where he is." Rhysand replied to the others in the room, perhaps to spare the shadowsinger from embarrassment. They were all instantly theorising other places Cassian could be, but Elain, sweet Elain simply said.

"He is with Nesta. They went to a garden together. I saw them leave." They paused.

"Why didn't you say something?!" Feyre exclaimed, clear exasperated at her older sister.

"Nobody asked me," she replied simply. And that was true. Rhys had kept it quiet in the hopes of not raising any alarm with his Inner Circle. Whilst they all laughed off their worry, Azriel tried to figure out what garden Elain could be speaking of. His problem solving was apparent to Mor and was quick to reassure the Shadowsinger.

"We know where he is now Az," she spoke calmly. "Relax, he's safe." He knew she was right, and that she should stop worrying about him so much. Is this what it was like for them? Constantly having to worry about Azriel's safety. No wonder they kept pushing him on it. He agreed to let it go, albeit reluctantly. In the final hours of the day, with the fire still burning, everyone still in the room, Cassian casually strolled in. As if everyone had known where he was.

"Hey," he said casually.

"Where have you been?!" Exclaimed Mor, clearly annoyed at his attitude.

"We went out," he replied, obviously confused at Mor's exclamation. As if on queue Nesta also walked into the room and without a word sat next to Elain. Once realising that everyone was in the room she asked,

"What's the occasion?"

"We didn't know where you were," Azriel said in a monotone voice. Cassian shrugged.

"I'm allowed to do things without having to let everyone know. I have a right to privacy like we all do."

"I'm not saying you don't," Azriel replied, immediately defensive. "I was just worried because of what happened at the camps yesterday." Cassian still shrugged, clearly not thinking it wasn't a good enough reason, he just looked at his brother and turned back towards the door he had only recently arrived through.

"I'm going to bed."

"Cas!" Azriel called. "We need to talk about this."

"Right," he replied, sarcasm lining his voice. "Because you're so great at talking about things which bother you." Azriel opened his mouth to reply but Cassian was already walking up the stairs. Not soon after his bedroom door slammed shut. Wisely nobody spoke anymore about the subject.

 **Sorry, this chapter took a little longer! I've been busy with sixth form at the moment. Have you all seen the title of the new novella after ACOWAR - A Court of Frost and Starlight! I can't wait to read it! Let me know what you all thought of this chapter. Any comments and feedback are greatly appreciated. -Jessica**


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16:

It hit Azriel hard. The words his brother spat at him that evening, but that is what he wanted at the time. Cassian had wanted to hurt Azriel, and he knew exactly how to execute his plan. He was an Army Commander after all. He needed to know everything about his soldiers, Azriel included.

The shadowsinger was lying in bed after excusing himself from his family downstairs, trying to drift away into sleep. Emphasis on the trying. His window was open slightly as warmth was returning to Velaris and he wanted to keep cool. The soft breeze fluttered the curtains open slightly so he could see through the window.

The stars. The houses. The denizens of Velaris. All of them laughing. At him.

He knew that Cassian was not only speaking of his reluctance to talk about his behaviour and attitude alteration after the War, he was also speaking of Azriel's early childhood and what he had experienced which left marks on the Illyrian's body which he could never ignore or hide in the shadows, no matter how much he tried. Azriel had always spent so much time and energy trying to forget what he had endured, but what was the point? He would always remember. A soft knock at his bedroom door interrupted his thoughts, though perhaps at the time it was a good thing.

"Who is it?" Azriel called.

"It's Rhys." Azriel responded to his High Lord and Rhysand stepped inside. His brother gestured to Azriel's bed in question and Az nodded. Once Rhys sat on the side of his bed, he presumed he would say something but they both sat in silence for a moment before he spoke.

"Do you want me to speak to Cassian?" He asked.

"No," Azriel quickly responded. "I don't want this to be bigger than it already is. Something about me is clearly bothering him so I think I should speak to him directly."

"It's not you Az, you can't put that kind of blame on yourself," Rhys spoke gently. Azriel pondered on whether Rhysand would notice the irony in his words. Rhys was constantly putting the blame on himself when there was no need, but this was not the time to speak of it.

"I think we are jumping to conclusions here," Azriel confessed. It was obvious that the both of them in his bedroom thought that Cassian could have been alluding to his early childhood but that was a stretch. "He could have simply meant that we were over worrying. He didn't say anything about me not talking about my life before the Camps." Rhysand went surprisingly still.

"We don't need to talk about that if you don't want to. Even if Cassian is talking about that, you don't owe him, or anyone else for that matter, any answers about that part of your life," He paused. "I'll leave you to think about it. Goodnight." Azriel thanked him and wished him well as his High Lord left his bedroom.

Consent. Ever since he had returned from Under the Mountain, which was some time ago now, he had always expressed to his family how they didn't owe anyone anything, or how they couldn't be forced to tell things they didn't want to. Not that he didn't say that before but, after Amarantha, consent was something Rhysand had obsessed over. Azriel didn't want to think any more on the matter before he truly became wrapped up in his sadness and anger over everything.


End file.
